What Ski School has taught me about life

Every so often, a movie comes along that completely puts your life into perspective. Ski School was that movie for me while I was growing up. It pretty much taught me everything I could ever want to know about life, love and women. I re watched it tonight, and found that this movie is partly why I almost end up in jail every month. But, it also influenced some of the random things that spill from my cranium. Some things I have taken from this movie...

1. If life gets you down, just drink beer and throw a party. I mean c'mone, the authorities are threatening your whole outlook and purpose in life. Do you think it through as how to stop them? Heck no bro! Throw a kegger and party away those blues. It will fix itself in the end.

2. Women are easy. If you're a guy and you comb your hair like Zack Morris and crack a witty joke here and there, women will be ALL over you. Sometimes, they will want to sleep with you within the first 5 minutes of knowing them.

3. All the women at EVERY party are hot. And I'm not talking about a little-above-average-hot, I'm talking smokin' hot. So hot, that they melt the ice in your drink.

4. Women loved to be stalked. If you just keep trying, and trying, and trying, and trying, they will eventually realize that your one of the good guys, and totally sleep with you. If you're not sure how to approach a girl, just position yourself on top of a garage at night and stare at them while they are in a hot tub. If/when they see you, they will totally be into it, and suddenly, you're the new boyfriend.

5. Women hate bras. They will take them off anywhere to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling. In the hottub, closet, ski slope and EVERY party they go to. As a guy, you should help them along with this. They will thank you in the end. Also, no woman on planet earth apparently has an A or B cup....

6. A party ain't a party unless there's black lights and neon. Imagine for a minute your at a party under they typical fluorescent lighting listening to Hungry like the wolf. Pretty lame right?? Now throw on some neon face and body paint along with some neon green and pink hats under a black light. That party suddenly became a million times cooler.

7.If you're dad owns a business, you need to make the poor peoples life miserable. I think this is pretty self explanatory. Also, you are allowed to forcefully pick up any chick that's in a room.

8. If you have beef with someone, ski it out. Who cares about yelling and throwing punches outside of a bar after closing?? If you and Joe Schmo have some issues, take it to the slopes! He made out with your girl? Ski....He punched your dog? Ski...He put ants in your bed while you slept? SKI IT OUT!!!!

9. Pranks are one of the greatest things in life. Especially if you can video tape them doing something outrageous and play it during their important speech. Put ants in the bed, itching powder in the undies or subliminally talk to them in their sleep so they think a certain way! Either way you slice it my friend, chicks love pranks. If you prank their boyfriend, they will leave that nerd in a SECOND for you.

10. Being the new guy in town is great. ALL the girls will think you're so mysterious, the cool-pranksters will welcome you, and the rich snobby kids (who you don't like anyway) will hate you immediately. You will be able to make out with any girl you want and run a muck.

Also, for some reason, only white people exist in snow-heavy climates......

So I guess that was just a little introverted look into my life and why I think spooning is so wonderful.

There's something rather calming about snow falling at night. It seems that it's happening more and more here in Minneapolis. I am eager for spring to arrive and thaw out these frozen ambitions.

On an unrelated note, stay away from 46th street off 35W. It seems that the on and off ramp are closed, AND the bridge is going to be closed for a while.....oh those MNDoT nerds....