Losing Bunch of Losers

For those who know me, they know I HATE losing. I hate losing more than I like winning. Take today for example. We lost in softball. Not like that's anything new. My team is 0-4. But today I played bad. I went 0-3 at the plate with a strikeout. Seriously, who strikes out in softball?!?!?! I do I guess.....
I hate losing so much that it literally ruins my week. I'll be irritated about this for an entire week. I threw my bat over a fence during the game and the other team seemed concerned. What adult male throws a temper tantrum during a fun league softball game?!?!?! I do I guess.....
But what's so wrong with hating to lose? Who likes losing? I don't know of anyone. Though most people probably handle it better than I do.
In other news, I'm going to start a new blog soon. I'll post the link and all that fun stuff soon. I just feel like I've outgrown this particular blog. I do need to find a new name though. Something clever and suave, like Rico Suave..... But that's not what I'll name it. More details to come.
Jon Beez in the trap. I hate most of that entire song, but it's truly stuck in my head.
But enough of this loser talk. I'm going to hit the batting cages this weekend. You just watch, I'll go 3-3 next week with at least a double. Or at least I hope so....

Easy Like Sunday Morning

I love Sunday mornings. I almost always have. There's something about the easiness of them. Take today for example. I had my normal Sunday routine: Get up (obviously), make some porridge, french press some coffee and read the paper. Typing that makes me feel like a 75 year old man.

But that's just how it goes. No TV, no noise outside, just birds chirping and the occasional sound of car doors closing. The air smells cleaner on Sundays, the day moves slower and I'm actually eager to do nothing.

My lazy plan for the day will consist of: Finishing this blog, going for a bike ride around the Stone Arch Bridge, grab a late lunch with my parents, and read. I literally plan on reading from 3-7 PM. I need to finish the 10 books I've started. I'm like 70% finished with all of them.

In other news, March Madness sucks. My bracket was busted by some no-name teams that got lucky. The good news is that EVERYONE else is in the same boat as me.

But do you know what bracket is even better than the NCAA bracket? The Wire bracket! I love, love, love this idea. As most of you know, the Wire is pretty much my favorite show ever. Most people either really love it, or hate it. There isn't much middle ground when it comes to the Wire. But anyway, someone decided to put together a bracket of "favorite Wire characters". My final is between Omar and Avon with Omar coming out on top.

If you haven't been in Minneapolis recently, you're severely missing out. It's pretty much the greatest stretch of weather we've ever had. So put on your running shoes, put some air in the bike tires and come join me in enjoying this Sunday.

Surprised?

Whitney Houston died yesterday. Possibly from drugs. In other news, fire is hot. Were we really that surprised? For some reason I thought Bobby Brown would have gone first.

Well, my pre-birthday bash went stellar as planned. Kristen cold rocked it! I also found out I have a very strong affinity for fois gras. We went out on Friday, and had, quite possibly, the tastiest duck dish I've ever had (short of the one we had in Paris). It was actually paired with the right amount of sweet rice and cilantro. Wow, as I type this I really think I sound like a food snob....I might have to eat some Ramen to make up for it!

Sidenotes:

-If you haven't downloaded Asher Roth's Pabst & Jazz album, you're sorely missing out

-Apparently the Timberwolves are a real team this year. Not that they're winning many games, but they're better than watching college basketball for the first time in 4 years

-What can one man do with a $40 salt shaker?

-Mike Boo was in town the other week. Whenever he comes to Minneapolis, I aptly name that weekend: Mike-Boo-a-Palooza. He should come back more often.

-Some days I really feel like I'm a closet hipster. I caught myself saying "yeah, but they were better before they got on TV". Apparently something is only cool if I am the only one who knows about it. The minute it catches on, it is no longer on the radar. What a silly way to think.

Well, it's off to finish the birthday week. I can't believe it's the big 3-0. I'm really getting old.....

And Now What?

I can't believe I'm almost 30. I really have nothing more to add than that. But when I was 15, I never thought about becoming this old. And now I'm fast approaching. I might have to hang up juvenile tendencies for good. No more 3am strolls, no more carrying tools "just in case" and certainly no more doing sketches in 14 year olds books. I''m out for good.

In other news, Ricky Rubio is the new savior of Minnesota. Joe Mauer who?

Christmas Time of Year

I literally can't wait for June. Literally, I can't wait. Twins season tickets are set up to be SOLID this year. There is going to be a 10 day stretch with 9 home games against the Phillies, Cubs and Brewers. I just hope that Thome, Fielder and maybe Pujols are playing during those games. New seats this year too. Switching from 1st base side to 3rd base side. The view of Downtown is MUCH better. Pretty soon, the Twins will be like the Timberwolves. People will pay to see the other teams players. The only Twins that I actually enjoy watching are Span and Kubel. People always ask "but what about Revere, Cuddyer, Mauer and Morneau"? Mostly because they're overrated. Revere is fun to watch, but isn't going to turn into Torii Hunter anytime soon. And Mauer and Morneau are the most overrated players the Twins have had in a while. I wish they would bring back Lew Ford!

In unrelated news, today is one of my favorite days of the year. It is the day I go and get my christmas tree. The next few weeks leave my house smelling of pine like crazy! And, as tradition, I pump the christmas music up to 10, enjoy some Beaujolais, and decorate the hell out of that tree. I just put the finishing touches on my 2012 christmas mix. And I have to say, I LOVE LOVE LOVE a Charlie Brown Christmas. It reminds me of fond Christmas mornings with my parents. There's such a child-like enjoyment that only this time of year brings out in me. As soon as my wife puts presents under the tree, I pull them out and shake them. She literally has to hide them from me. I feel that my Christmas wish list is getting out of hand though!

I'm so glad Saucy Burts is still rolling downtown. I LOVE the foodtruck trend that has taken over Minneapolis. WSK and Burts are my two favorite. And with the cold weather, almost all of them have packed it up for the year. But not Burts. I literally ran a block and a half yesterday coatless in order to get a tasty meatball sandwich. Just thinking about it makes me hungry and I just ate a massive breakfast.

Come to think of it, I've become something of a food snob the past few years. I guess it has to do with getting older and changing tastes. But places like 5 Guys, Chipotle and Perkins are absolutely terrible to my taste buds! Now, I find myself frequenting Bar La Grassa and Saffron more and more during lunch and dinner events. There's something about experiencing food instead of just eating it because I'm hungry. Now my day to day diet of 5 hardboiled eggs and straight chicken breasts still does exist (hey, gotta load up on protein somehow), but there's something about the perfect texture of gnocchi that makes me melt.

As I'm writing this, I'm trying to find every way possible to NOT go to the gym. It's Saturday, and that means it's legs day. Which leaves me walking like an elderly man tomorrow. So I guess I'll give in and hit the weights for my 90 minutes and maybe soak in an ice bath afterwards. And because it's winter, it's eat, eat, eat season. I went from a steady diet of 3,000 calories, to almost 5,000 calories. I guess muscles don't grow if you don't eat! But needless to say, it leaves me a bit dodgy in the mornings.

Hopefully I'll post something else before the holidays, but if I don't, Happy Christmashanakkwanza!

Oh, and if you get a free minute, go download The Walk by Mayer Hawthorne.

The NBA and other stuff

What's that sound? Oh yeah, the silence of the Target Center. Why? Because even though the NBA is back on, the Center will remain empty as can be. But I might actually drop by to see the phenom Ricky Rubio. We can call him a phenom right? right?

So here are my pre-season predictions. Spurs win it all. Age and experience go a long way. And a shorter season = Tim Duncan holding up. If I'm wrong, it will probably be the Bulls.

In other news, I'm slowly falling in love with a ton of celebrities right now. For one, Mila Kunis. I developed a semi-crush on her during Forgetting Sarah Marshall. And the other crush? Zooey Deschanel. I LOVE the show New Girl. Any girl that is that sweet and breaks out into random song, gets my vote. And I used to REALLY not like Elisha Cuthbert, but WOW. She is wooing me on Happy Endings. I love this season of TV!

Christmas is also coming up. B-T-Dubs: It's my favorite holiday. So thank you in advance for picking me up a present. I could really use a new Macbook Air.

In completely unrelated news, I've got my travel itinerary done for 2012. San Francisco, Denver, Orlando and hopefully a stop in London. I love airplanes.

Need a good tune? Mayer Hawthorn's The Walk is playing on my ipod a lot lately.

I've started writing my next book. And my started, I mean started thinking about a topic. I'm totally at a loss. I'm thinking of some kind of comedy, but also a love story would be good too.

Ok, I've rambled on enough for tonight. I will TRY TRY TRY to do a better job at making coherent posts in the future. Until then. Peace and chicken grease.

-JB

TV killed true love

So I'm getting my oil changed today, and I'm super, super, super bored. I decided to start sending random texts to people. Long story short, I got on the subject of The Wonder Years with Marjorie. And it got me thinking....My childhood TV shows made me fall in love a certain type of woman. Who, in real life, does not exist.

Case and point: Kelly Kapowski. She was probably the first girl I had a TV crush on. I used to actually think a girl like her existed. Cool, sophisticated, big hair, and neon clothes. But take a look around--no where.

Girl 2: Winnie Cooper. The prototypical girl next door. She was such a tease though. Played those mind games with poor Kevin Arnold.

Girl 3. Topanga Lawrence. I actually fell in love with this girl when she was the nerd that Cory Mathews wanted nothing to do with. Then BOOM! She got hot in 1 season! And the rest of the world fell head over heels for her too.

Patti Mayonnaise: One of my first cartoon crushes. Looking back now, she should have given me the creeps, but she didn't.

Dina Alexander (from Salute your Shorts). Hands down, one of my favorite crushes. She was hot before I knew what hot was!

Kelly Brown (Hey Dude!). Again, hot girl on a horse. What's not to love??

Joey Potter. Katie Holmes is one of the most unattractive people on this planet. But during a very odd Junior year of high school, she was the bees knees! I told many lies about how I met "a girl that look JUST like her".

Iesha. Now this girl was just plain fictitious. But ABC made me believe there was an Iesha out there for me.

So the moral of the story is that for many years, I searched far and wide for these archetypes of women. But in the end, they don't exist. And why aren't there these types of women today? All I see on TV, is Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez. TV producers need to do a better job at making unattainable women for young males to fawn over.