Daytime TV

So now that school is over, I've been spending my days in different ways. One of those ways is skipping through daytime TV. Now, I have to imagine that the broadcasting is directed towards a certain type of demographic. Either stay-at-home-moms, unemployed persons, or people with nothing better to do on freezing cold days.

My conclusion is that 90% of it is for women. Now I'm not being sexist or anything, but when most of the shows are either cooking shows, or segments on how to loose weight in your thighs, I can determine that the 25 year old male is not who they're going after.

After watching daytime TV a few times now, I have to wonder: Are women really that unhappy, or are we making them unhappy? Case 1: Most television ads directed towards guys are about beer, girls, music and cars. Most television ads directed towards women are pretty much about how they're butts are too big, they eat too many calories, eyelashes aren't full enough, they can't be healthy without lean-cuisines, you can't cook properly--so here is a new oven mitt to help you or the always popular: trade in that gold ad.
Now I've noticed that most of the commercials directed towards women in the day are pretty much saying that that you're not perfect. And the only way for you to be perfect, is changing everything about you. Now most commercials directed towards guys go as follows: You're already pretty cool bro, but this product will make you cooler (and get you TONS of action).

**Sidenote** I actually had a friend who would use AXE body spray because he literally felt that by wearing it, he would attract women. I continually tried to tell him that the stuff smelled like a bad chemistry experiment, but he wouldn't believe me because he bought into those commercials. And he would never believe my argument that cologne/body sprays are meant to be done in small doses--more does not mean better. Case and point: If you can smell a perfume from across the room, it does not attract you like a magnet. But being close enough to smell a hint of perfume is...well....very attractive.

It's not like I'm re-inventing the wheel here. I'm sure people have found this same example and written lots of stuff on it. I just never noticed it until I was sucked into the world of daytime TV.

Working later in the day has certainly opened my eyes to a culture of people who I never knew anything about. I think the next group will be those who are retired. When I go to the gym at 9am, there are floods of moms and elderly people there. The old folks stay to themselves, but after their workout sessions, I stay away from the parking lot....If your're 90 years old, you probably shouldn't be on the roads.

So there are 2 new cool things going down lately:

1. I'm finally going to upgrade my camera to one that allows for better photos.
2. London and Paris in April. That's right folks, Kris and I will be hanging with some London blokes and French frogs in a few months. Hense the reason for upgrading the camera...

It's off to watch the Price is Right and Rachael Ray.

Hey there

For some reason or another, I've re-gotten into records. I spent most of the day today playing all sorts of vinyl. I guess it goes along with 2009s theme of being more traditional. The way I see it, if it was good enough for your grandpa, it's still good enough. I guess that's why I'm flirting with 80 year old women....but on to another topic.

So as males, have we given up on being gentleman? Being a teacher I certainly see the youth going away from it, but people in their 20's-40's, is what really surprises me. I'm not saying that we all walk around with the utmost manners, but there are certain things that have become a past time rather than common practice. Take for example a dinner gathering. How many people wait until everyone is seated until they start to eat? Not many. Or, if you're being introduced to someone, standing up to greet them? And what about opening doors for people? We honestly can't be in that big of a hurry to not allow someone to go before us. And how often do we take our hats off inside? My grandma used to smack the back of my head if I came into her house with my hat on-up until I was 24! She also used to make me stand up every time a female came, or left, a room. She told me it was rude to just sit there while a lady was coming or going--but when I do this now, people look at me funny. And it almost seems odd if you take out a chair for a woman. Where have our customs gone?? I don't really have an answer for this, but it does seem something that should be looked into. (*brain, file this away for later. Also, find that missing sock*). Maybe I'm the oldest 20-something out there, but hopefully not the only one that at least tries to practice correctness. I'm going back to listen to these old Dean Martin records now.

But take a look at these guys here. Nothing says cool like a fishbowl of pretzels and scotch. The 60's were much smoother than the first part of this century....

Why oh why

Why on earth do I live here? That is the question I wrestle with on mornings like this. The temperature outside is -18 actual. That means it's about -35 with the windchill.

One of my favorite things to do while drinking coffee, is to watch the morning newscast and watch the traffic reports. There were 2 different sections of highway closed this morning due to black ice, crashes and rollovers. A normal commute of 20 minutes was a little over an hour today. I still don't understand how people here can't drive in the winter. It only happens EVERY year, yet 97% of the people forget how to handle snow and ice.....If you're driving and notice the road looks wet (and it's below 0), chances are it's ice! So slow down.

-I'm out.

50/50

So to go with the theme from New Years, here's 50 oh-snaper-ific things about the one and only JB.

1. I am phenomenal at being alone. I mean I can do my own thing for weeks on end and never get bored. I can waste time better than anyone I know. I'll spend 3 hours at Barnes and Noble or 5 hours at the Art Museum and not even notice....


2. I once fell off a horse at camp....I hated every second of the ordeal. And now the story has become a favorite among house parties.


3. I have become quite good at taking public naps. I can snooze in the chair at the dentist office, buses, park benches, heck anywhere.



4. Teri Hatcher is really good looking. And not the Hatcher from Superman, but present day Teri. Which sort of leads me to #5.



5. Older women (not elderly) are usually much better looking than they get credit for. And for some reason, they always flirt with me at coffee shops, book stores and art showings....



6. Joose is great.



7. I'm the only person I know that still goes out and paints at least once a month. I thought those kids in high school would do it forever. It seems that it ended up being just me.



8. I could listen to Do You Want More!?!? ten times a day, and not get sick of it.



9. I enjoy bad movies. And not bad movies that are box office flops, but movies that were made for the intent of not being all that good (i.e. Ski School, Phantoms, Meatballs 4, Hollywood Hot tubs and Real Men). For some reason I really dig these flicks.



10. I also like celebrities that are no longer celebrities. Much like John Stamos, Patrick Swayze and Corey Feldman.



11. Once I found out how to shave properly (back in August of 08), it has become a small hobby. I'm looking for an old school razor from the 1940's right now. It used to be such a chore in the morning, but now I actually enjoy it. I guess it goes along with my monthly trip to the barber (yes, an actual barber, not Cost Cutters--straight razors and all).



12. Sideways is one of the most influential movies I've ever watched. Before that movie, I though I was the only one under the age of 40 that enjoyed wine. Later, I've come to find quite a few people. But I dislike hanging out with wine snobs. If it's good, drink it. I don't really admire the fact that you can pick out how many different aspects are in the wine.



13. My table at wedding receptions is ALWAYS the fun table.



14. I really hate it when cheese burns the top of my mouth.



15. When watching Deal or no Deal, I always root for the person to do horribly. If someone offers me $250,000, I don't care what anyone says, I'd sell that million dollar case for some guaranteed money.



16. Back to the Future 2 was WAY off when they predicted the future. I want some quick-drying clothes and a hovercraft. Sidenote: Elizabeth Shue was really good looking.



17. Saying that I'm a semi-famous blogger doesn't sound as cool when you're at the bar....



18. Someone once told me that flat chested girls are like flat rocks--you skip em'. That is the kind of knowledge I received in 6th grade.



19. I kissed my first girl on the nose while playing hide-and-go-seek. I'm sure she still remembers it just as well as I do. Truth be told, I pretty much had a crush on her from Kindergarten to high school.



20. Whatcha' gonna do when Pun comes through? But really, one of the best days I've ever had was biking around San Francisco with Mike last summer. That's my kind of place on a bike.



21. One of the best moments from 2008 is when one of my students was convinced I couldn't rap. And then I had to show him up in front of his friends at a basketball game. He still emails me, and I'm helping him get into college this coming Fall.



22. I'm a nerd at heart. I have bookshelves filled with books about everything. From basic novels to classics. From Early Chinese history to Calvin and Hobbes. I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said "A best friend is one who gives me a book I haven't read". Very true.



23. One of these days I'm going to finish this novel I'm working on.



24. Back in the 8th grade, I made a promise to myself that whenever Bust a Move by Young MC came on, I would dance. Regardless of the situation I would in fact--bust a move.



25. Getting halfway on this list went much quicker than I thought it would.....



26. I wish I had more time to go to plays. I want to try to get to one every month this year, but I doubt it will happen.



27. Does it get any better than Summer in Minneapolis?? Biking through the city, the lakes, the Twins (in our new outdoor stadium). It is in fact, one of the greatest places on earth.



28. It's amazing the amount of people that come and go in our lives. Most of them don't leave a fingerprint, let alone a lasting impression. On the other hand, some become life long friends. And I'm convinced I have some of the freshest friends on the planet. I can go a month without talking to them, and pick up a conversation like we never left.



29. I honestly wonder how many people are going to read this list.......



30. Speaking of friends, it's amazing that most of those I consider to be closest friends, all moved away: San Francisco, Virginia, New York, Washington, Brazil and London. At least there are plenty of warm couches to lay when I travel.



31. Granted, high school wasn't that long ago, but when I run into girls I either dated or had crushes on and they don't look so good now--I have to smile. And I always think to myself "dodged a bullet on that one". And vice versa when they see me. I aways get the "Oh my god, you look different--we should get a drink sometime or something". Thanks but no thanks.



32. For some reason, I can always relate to Will in the movie About a Boy.



33. I played pee wee football with Joshua Jackson. He was the punter on our team. One day he stopped coming to practice. A few months later we all saw him in Mighty Ducks. And as we all know--moved out to Dawsons Creek.



34. In 3 years I will be running for city council in Minneapolis. Get your ballots ready. If there is a chance that I win, I'll be the youngest to do it....hopefully.



35. I always wanted to be a member of the Lambert family on Step by Step.



36. I dig nice bathrooms. You know, the kind where an old man is there to dry your hands. Now that's classy.



37. January 12, 2009 starts the triathlon training......hilarity will ensue (yet again). I think it's been about 3 years since the last one, so needless to say, I can't have any carry-over.

38. I'll pass on the Guitar Hero. Pass me the Mario 3.

39. I'm a huge Packers fan. Coming from Minnesota, that is quite taboo.

40. No one believes it, but I'm very shy at first. After a few minutes, you realize that I'm sometimes too animated for my own good.

41. I graduated from college with the Universities highest honors. I also graduated high school at #7 in my class (vandalism at night, homework in the day I guess). I still think there was a mix up with the papers.

42. I'm set on the fact that the best rap music was made between 1987 and 1996. After that, it all sort of went downhill (with a few exceptions).

43. I very much enjoyed my 4-6th grade camping trips to Long Lake. One time, Dan and Ryan fell out of a boat and almost froze to death...And then I pushed a kid into the bog. Ah, memories.

44. I don't care for really large crowds. But I do like to Christmas shop during the busiest times of the day/week. Go figure.

45. What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about????

46. One time during the winter months, I jumped on a moving train. My foot slipped through the ladder and I got dragged upside down for almost a block. I finally got loose and rolled on the ground from the momentum, ending up under the train itself. Luckily there were only 3 cars left and I ended up being ok. That was the single scariest point in my life, and I have not been back on a moving train since.

47. I talk to myself way too much when I'm alone.

48. I used to watch The Real World all the time. Well, until it got boring...Which was around 2003.

49. Why did the song Poison have to be so GREAT!?! BBD should make a comeback.

50. I hate texting. Mostly because I'm so horrible at it. Just give me a call.