Friday, August 31, 2007

Back to those good days.

As you get older you tend to not do the cool things anymore. Well bump that. I decided that I need to start doing things that I used to. Regardless of age or repercussions, I'm going to start re-living the good points of my younger days. The good thing is that I won't make the same mistakes twice (like thinking I can jump from one branch of a tree to a different tree). So with that in mind I'm going to leave you with: Jon B, the rreeeeeemiiiiiixxxxxxx.


1. Bag snatching. Remember those times you were out trick or treating with your little friends? One of you was a vampire, one a princess, one was a calculator, and all of a sudden, those older kids jumped out of a bush at you and took your Halloween bag. Well just think how scared you would be if a 25-year old kid took your bag? That would be cool. I could be dressed as a ninja or Mel Gibson from Braveheart. I would steal your bag and run. Then brag to my friends that I got you! Beware kids....Beware.

2. Eating paste. I never really got to enjoy the taste of glue or paste as a youngin', but I should have. Even though the kids who DID eat paste, are now high school dropouts or working as college professors at my school. How awesome would it be if we were at a restaurant, and you were like "Hey Jon, you want some cheese fries"? And I would be like "No thanks, I got some paste"......That would bring my cool level up at least 2 points. I could even put it as a condiment for my brunches.......oh the possibilities.


3. Picking your nose in public. I mean REAL public, like at dinner, a first date, a wedding, work, school, whatever. Most of us (and by most, I mean ALL) pick our nose while we drive. We think we're in a world of our own, but we're not. Kids can pick the nose any time of day or night, and its "cute". But when I do it, I hear "Jon, get your finger out of your nose and finish your job interview". Sometimes you got an itch, or a few "bats hanging in the cave" and you gotta do something about it. But alas, society has put a stigma on the rubbing of the rim.....I say screw that. In fact, this paragraph took me a half hour to type because one finger stayed in my nose, while the other hand typed.



4. Bed wetting. Think of all the time you waste just getting out of your bed to relieve yourself. All I gotta do now, is just go. Sure the lady of the house might not like it, but maybe I can just do it on my side of the bed. And if Billy Madison taught us anything (besides Adam Sandler sucks), is that it's "cool to pee your pants". So next time you drink too much water before snooze time, don't panic, just relax and dream of water hoses and rivers.......ahhh.


5. Eating food you don't like. If you didn't like your vegetables, you threw a fit and didn't eat em'. Now, if you go to someones house and the food sucks, you still eat it and tell them its good. Now you're screwed because they're going to have you over again for that nasty prison food they call dinner. Next time, just mash all your food together in one pile, throw your fork across the room and cross your arms. That should get the point through.....


6. Hide and Seek. And we wonder why some people become stalkers as they grow up. But the re-vamp of the game (hunter and the hunted) was a game we all enjoyed on the block of Dan C. It was dope. But how much cooler would it be for an old lady to look out her window at 11pm, and see a few 20-something people hiding in your trees and under your deck in the name of a game?? I for one would love to get a group of people together for a game and rock that out. The best part was, if there was someone you didn't like, you told them to go hide, and you would look for them. But you just went inside and played Mario or something, while they tried to hide for hours.....classic.

On an unrelated note, school starts this week...I'm in no hurry to get back into that routine. I felt like punching a girl the other day because she was a 21-year old senior at college...I'm 25 and almost a senior. I'm on the ten-year plan I think......
And Labor Day was pretty good. I caught a good sized Pike up at the lake. So even though its Tuesday--I'll say happy Monday (because it feels like one).



Check out this artical about a bunch of guys who wish they were ninjas.... http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070831/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_china_ninja

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