Science doesn't lie

So I've pretty much discovered I'm an X-men. You know how some X-men have real cool powers like blowing up stuff, flying, shooting Parmesan cheese out of their nose, adamantuim claws, kinetic abilities and the ability to teleport? Well my special power is to completely screw up any and every line I ever get in. It never fails. Say for instance I go to the grocery store for a simple item like oranges. Now I'm walking to the checkout line and notice there are ten lanes open, each lane has about 6 people with full shopping carts. But alas, there is a line with only one person in it, and she is only buying razors and gummi bears. I quickly jump into that line and think "Heck, one person in line, I'll be out of here in two minutes tops". Wrong. I can guarantee that woman will have: coupons, pay in pennies, have her prosthetic leg fall off, have a sneezing attack, have to "get one more thing quick", or just plain be half-dead. Now, if I were to get in any other line, she would go quick, but the one I choose will ALWAYS take longer then the rest. And it really doesn't matter the situation. No matter what the line is, the one I choose will suddenly become the longest line in the store.

On a scientfic note, I would like to address what some people refer to as "being shallow". Sure, I base most first impressions off of looks. We all do. Except Stevie Wonder. But I have found in my own scientific study, that by adding breast enhancements to almost any woman, it will increase their hotness (Note to the reader: when you see me in public, please do not punch me in the neck or scream at me). I will address my two top reasons for this:

Reason 1.

Halle Berry. Ok, let's not kid ourselves. Halle has been hot since day one (remember Boomerang). But with the addition of....um....well actually a kid.

Ok my whole theory just went out the window. I was going to do a segment on Halle Berry and Christina Aguilera getting way hotter in the past six months, but it's pretty much due to the fact they had kids. So maybe it is the addition of kids that makes you hot. Oooooor not. But some moms are not hot what-so-ever. Take for instance Tori Spelling, Kati Holmes, Liv Tyler, Melissa Joan Heart, Michelle Williams, Jamie Lynn Spears, Nicole Ritchie and of course Madonna. Why is it some women get super good looking when they have a child, and some lose their hotness all together (example A: Katie Holmes in Dawsons Creek = hot, Katie Holmes with Tom Cruise = uggo). Wow, this blog took an odd turn. I was all hyped up on hotties, and it spun into a posting about baby mamas......

So I finally put a brake on my bike. I know, I know I dropped a few cool points. But anywho, I went for about 40 miles today. Next purchase-gloves. It hurts to rest my palms on the keyboard....

In unrelated news, I checked my grades for the semester and I'm all A's like Oakland. I really need to work on my bay-area humor.

So I can't remember the guys name (he's pretty much a second rate Demetri Martin) but some points made me laugh.

-They should open up a restaurant called I Don't Care so I can finally go to that place my girlfriends keep talking about.

Actually, that was the only part about his bit that was funny.....

Anywho, hope everyone is up for Memorial weekend. Not that it means anything other than a Monday off.

Peace out.

-JB