Bring it back

I'm old school. And not like that wacky movie with Luke Wilson, but REAL old school. I've been a victim to just about every trend that has crossed my way since by birth. I styled my hair like the Corys', wore my clothes backwards, owned a five-finger ring, played pogs, wore L.A. Gears and BK Knights, tried to skateboard, and Stabbed my ex-wife and her boyfriend (no, wait...I don't think ANYONE followed the O.J. trend). But remember those awesome sayings from back in the day?? Neither do I. That's why I'm re-birthing them. These were sayings and phrases that made our lives a little better. These sayings could get you out of a tough situation (or into one).

Old school saying 1- Talk to the hand. When you just couldn't hear another word from that annoying person sitting across from you, just put up your hand and say "Talk to the hand". Its perfect. It shows the other person how incredibly lame they are, AND your hand can do all the listening! Its a win/win. There are many variations to the statement, like "talk to the elbow cause you ain't worth the extention". Classic.......

OSS 2- Surfing the web. What are you, Patrick Swayze in Point Break mixed with Spiderman?? I didn't think so. So what the hell is surfing the web? Actually, this saying is kinda pointless, so why bring it back??

OSS 3- Babydaddy- That is something I hope to never be....someones babydaddy. Remember that song "Who that is--its just my babydaddy"..What crap. I should Limewire that song and see if its for real, or something I just made up in my head.....

OSS 4- No Doy--Wow. I don't ever remember saying this one myself, but I sure did hear it a lot. I don't even know where it came from. But as you remember, its the same as saying Duh (which is just another dead word in our dictionary). I'll use it in a sentance:: "Yo Jon, them cheese fries are the best" Me-"No Doy"....Now I will go back to never using that word again.

OSS 5- All that and a bag of chips--Really? AND a bag of chips?? That must be pretty damn awesome. Why not all that and a snowcone? or all that and a lampshade? Something just strikes a chord with us as a bag of chips. Remember that horrible band Color Me Badd? I think they even had a song devoted to that....maybe I'll google it.

OSS 6--Your mom--In my opinion, the best saying ever. If you ever wanted to offend someone, just slip this into a conversation::
Bob "you suck at baseball"
Me "Your mom".
You see how that works?? I've just messed up his whole world. Now he'll go home and cry himself to sleep for being a horrible son. It is also greatly used to piss someone off.....It doesn't matter what the situation is, put this phrase in there, to bring the fight up one more level. In fact, it brings it up to the highest level...how can you top that?? You can't. period....I'll show you another instance::
Teacher- "Jon, why would you write this paper about silly putty being better than play dough? The assignment was to explain how the economic structure in the Soviet satellite regimes lead to the eventual J-curve"?
Me- "Your mom"
Teacher-"I apologize for failing you. Here is an A. Good job"
As you can see, this saying is an "all around goodie". Don't take my word on it. Say it to the next person who bothers you.

I'm not sure why there's a picture of David Lee Roth on here.....I just thought it reflected my post.