So people have been asking me "Yo Jon, you're kind of a politics nerd, who would make the best president in the 08 election"? Now politics is a touchy issue. People for the war, can't stand those against it, and vice versa. Some believe in global warming, rising oil prices, lead in China toys, the Spice Girls reunion-I mean, c'mone, there's a lot of hot button issues out there. I racked my brain for a while about all the candidates and came up with the ideal person for the president of the United States.......
Bill Bellamy from MTV.
I mean, really, this guys is great. He hosted MTV Jams AND the Beach House. Not even Obama can top that. And let us not forget the classic flicks How to be a Player and Love Stinks. Not to mention he is the cousin of Shaq. He can bring peace in the middle east, save the whales, freeze the polar ice caps with his cold flow, keep Kevin Costner from making movies, bring back Fragglerock, make gatorade the national drink, and get Scrubs to stay on the air a few more seasons. Can John Mccain claim that?? I think not....But alas, every top dog needs a vice president. But who??
I mean, really, this guys is great. He hosted MTV Jams AND the Beach House. Not even Obama can top that. And let us not forget the classic flicks How to be a Player and Love Stinks. Not to mention he is the cousin of Shaq. He can bring peace in the middle east, save the whales, freeze the polar ice caps with his cold flow, keep Kevin Costner from making movies, bring back Fragglerock, make gatorade the national drink, and get Scrubs to stay on the air a few more seasons. Can John Mccain claim that?? I think not....But alas, every top dog needs a vice president. But who??
Big Worm from Friday.
You wanna get rid of the national debt?? Get this guy to do it! Remember how scared Smokey was when he owed him a little dough?? Just think of what Big Perm, I mean, Big Worm gets ahold of those other nations regarding our national funding. Plus, any guy that rocks a perm and drives a sick lowrider (not to mention the ice cream truck), is a fresh person in my book. So those wacky French are messing stuff up?? The Worm will just walk in, and say "Hey Zarkozy, you're playin' with my emotions", and then whip out the .45--problems solved. And if someone 
was just a bit much for the Worm (not that it will EVER happen), but..enter Deebo.
Do you really think anyone would wanna test a chubby guy in a perm AND a guy that will knock you out, take your beach cruiser and make you break into a house?? Heck, I would even venture to say we could get rid of the national defense if we had Deebo running things..Fort Knox would be filled with stolen gold chains, watches and pagers.
was just a bit much for the Worm (not that it will EVER happen), but..enter Deebo.Shall we take this one step further?? Sure, why not. Presidents fill their cabinet after they get voted in, but in this case, I will make a point for doing it before the votes are tallied.
Surgeon General: Dr. Cox. Suddenly everything that was bad for you, is somehow good. How you like that newbie??
New Supreme Court Chief Justice: Judge Harry Stone from Night Court. Hilarity ensues...
Secretary of Treasury: Kevin Malone. If this guy can keep the Office funds in order and not go bankrupt, he can do wonders for our screwed up economy.
Secretary of Transportation:: Speedy Gonzales. I think enough is said through his name...
Secretary of Education:: Mr. Hand from Fast Times. Everyone would be on time, and not your time, but our time. Education would be top notch.
Secretary of the Interior: Puxatony Phil. I mean, if this groundhog can make a single day repeat itself over and over, he can probably help fix some of the problems with our land management.
So there you have it folks, the 2008 Presidential Cabinet. Sure, there may be some people that I forgot about, or would be better in their respective positions, but this is what I think of at 9am on a Thursday.
On a random note, check out the new Wutang album 8 Chambers. It's a banger. And thanks to Mike, check out Rhyme Pays by Ice-t (more over, the track 409).
Not much else is going on in the world of note. The Timberwolves are looking to a horrible season, as is the Gophers hockey. The Vikings (if they ever make the wise decision and get rid of their bumble-of-a-quarterback) may turn around and become a good team. I mean, I've always hated the Queens for the most part, but Adrian Peterson is one highlight. As I said after week 1, he will be the rookie of the year, and the Vikings should really build a team around him. We saw what happened in Detroit with Barry Sanders when the team refused to adapt to the trophy player on the team, and would up paying for it. The "let the defense win games" is a great idea, but the Vikes need a QB in a bad way. As most peopel feel, Brooks should be given a starting chance. Tavaris is one of the worst quarterbacks since Daunte (funny how they both came here), and Holcomb is struggling. So what does the wise Childress say? "Tavaris is the starter and will remain it". Way to go.....Why didn't we keep Mike Tomlin or get Steve Mariucci?? oh well, its good for the rest of the NFC at least.
Other than that, have a good Thursday and weekend, and watch out for pranks. Some of us are on the prowl.
So there you have it folks, the 2008 Presidential Cabinet. Sure, there may be some people that I forgot about, or would be better in their respective positions, but this is what I think of at 9am on a Thursday.
On a random note, check out the new Wutang album 8 Chambers. It's a banger. And thanks to Mike, check out Rhyme Pays by Ice-t (more over, the track 409).
Not much else is going on in the world of note. The Timberwolves are looking to a horrible season, as is the Gophers hockey. The Vikings (if they ever make the wise decision and get rid of their bumble-of-a-quarterback) may turn around and become a good team. I mean, I've always hated the Queens for the most part, but Adrian Peterson is one highlight. As I said after week 1, he will be the rookie of the year, and the Vikings should really build a team around him. We saw what happened in Detroit with Barry Sanders when the team refused to adapt to the trophy player on the team, and would up paying for it. The "let the defense win games" is a great idea, but the Vikes need a QB in a bad way. As most peopel feel, Brooks should be given a starting chance. Tavaris is one of the worst quarterbacks since Daunte (funny how they both came here), and Holcomb is struggling. So what does the wise Childress say? "Tavaris is the starter and will remain it". Way to go.....Why didn't we keep Mike Tomlin or get Steve Mariucci?? oh well, its good for the rest of the NFC at least.
Other than that, have a good Thursday and weekend, and watch out for pranks. Some of us are on the prowl.
2 comments:
This is my first time reading your blog. It's the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Keep up the good work! Scrubs AND Friday referneces?? Not many people can do that in one sitting.
Hmm, trusting Kevin with our national debt? Not sure on that one. Remember the episode where Kev thought he was the shit in poker, then proceeded to lose all of his money to a naive poker playing Phyllis? Yeah. I love Kev, though. I'd make him the President. He's underappreciated.
Oh yeah, good luck with the T'Wolves this season,too. That'll be comical to watch. I can empathize, though. Philly ain't much better.
Come to think of it, they're probably worse. Much worse. Kyle Korver trying to awkwardly dunk worse.
Thanks for blogrolling me, by the way.
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