Life's not a game....or is it?

I remember the wonderful days of childhood. Heck, even into most my teens were spent playing board games on a Friday night (instead of macking on girlies--which leads to repressed emotions. But that's another story). But how true to life are these games?? I dug out some of my old favorites to check out the "real life" experience they bring.



1. Chutes and Ladders. So apparently it's a game that teaches you that life has ups and downs. Unless you land on space 80 (which is a direct ladder to the end). That tells me that it's ok to take shortcuts in life. If you need to hop a ladder to get to the top, make sure you push some people down a ladder.









2. Monopoly. Let's face it. This is the game that causes more frustration then fun. And you ALWAYS end up playing with that one kid who buys one of each property (hindering your ability to monopolize anything). This game can also last for hours--resulting in you and your grandmother fist fighting over Baltic Ave at 3am. And the other part of Monopoly that will lead to an argument are the "untold rules". Do you get money when you land on free parking? What are the various rules to get you out of jail? But Monopoly teaches us about rich and poor and that there is no middle ground. Why is it that Park Place/Boardwalk are right around the corner from Mediterranean Ave? That's gentrification (Thanks Hooper X). If you don't believe me, play with a group for about an hour. Someone will have hotels on about 80% of the board, and I'm left with with stupid Electric Company and a wad of white $1's.....






3. Twister. The only thing that Twister taught me is that girls are hot. You will never see a group of 5 guys playing twister in a basement. However, if you're looking to get close to a girl, have twister set up and after a few drinks, booya. To make it interesting, after these drinks remove some pants.




4. Chinese Checkers. The ONLY thing this game taught me is that I have no business dipping into the ancient art of Chinese checkers. To be honest, I used to put these in bowls full of candy and watch to see if someone bit into one. If someone was like "Jon, lets play some Chinese Checkers", I would politely decline--because I have NO memory of how to play....





5. Trouble. The only thing this game taught me is that if there is a bubble popper in the middle of the board, the game will never get finished because I will sit and pop the bubble for hours.........








6. Cranium. All in all, I didn't know this game existed until about 18 years old. The only thing this game taught me, is that deep, deep, deep down inside, I'm kind of a nerd. I remember playing this game with Bickle, Boo, Ritchie, Brandon and Damien for hours during the summer. How could such swanky guys be alone in a George Forman basement playing this instead of hanging out with girls?? Oh the mysteries of life.




7. Trivial Pursuit. This game only taught me that school lied to me. I don't need to know about lunch and gym class, I should be focused on the leader of Russia during the turn of the century! The people who win this game, you love to hate. You admire their wealth of useless facts, but hate the fact you're an idiot....







8. Hungry Hippos. And we wonder why we have childhood obesity! I damn near ate those marbles when I wanted a snack. This game taught me that to be gluttonous was to be victorious! The one who ate the most, in the shortest time was the best person ever......and usually the one to die the quickest from a heart attack.








9. Battleship. This has to be one of my favorites. A game where you sink the other ship. The whole reason this game is cool though, is in the commercial when the kid goes "You sunk my battleship". In real life, you cheated every way possible. Like stacking 2 ships on top of each other, or making "T's" with all the ships (to throw your opponent off). For whatever reason, I site this game as allowing me to understand Algebra and Calculus in college ( I even wrote a theory paper on the connection to battleship and long equations).




10. Uno. This game taught me that skipping people is cool. Or, if you're in the lead, have them draw cards until they're full. The worst part is when you get 7 people in a row who "change the number or color" and you're left with none of the colors OR numbers. But it did teach me the art of cheating in games. Whenever I laid a card down, I would stick a random card behind it making it look like one card. That's how I got rid of all my cards so quick.

Honorable mentions: Stratego, Scrabble, Sorry, Game of Life, Sorry, Connect 4 and Mouse Trap.

What's your favorite games growing up??

I'm sorta in a rut these days. I've been looking for some good music that I haven't heard before, but I can't find any.......


I really hope I keep all the fingers this weekend.


So the book I'm currently writing has been put on hold for the summer because I've decided to take on a new one. The plot thus far is about someone who decides to leave home to travel west in order to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. It's sooooooorta like Leaving Las Vegas, but without the weak acting, Vegas and drinking. The person is normal in every way, but something feels right about taking their own life from the bridge.....I think it's going to be called "Accessible". I got the general idea from the documentary called "The Bridge". Its kinda sad, but a good flick. Everyone thinks it's a strange idea for me (mostly because all the stuff I write is humorous and light hearted).


I wonder what Hootie is up to these days......


I'm still juggling the idea of having a moustache. No one seems to think it's a grand plan.


Well, I hope everyone has a good 4th. And remember that the Declaration of Independence wasn't done on the 4th of July......just a tidbit of historical trivia for you. It was actually done on July 2nd and generally adopted on the 4th. And not everyone was in one giant room signing it, it was passed along until August. Sometimes I hate being a social studies major.........sorry about that.


If you get a chance, check out the show Wipeout. It's hilarious. People falling off stuff will always be funny to those of us with a 16 year old sense of humor.