The waiting game

So it's supposed to snow about a half a foot in Minneapolis today. This past weekend we were in the 30's (and sunny). People were out in just sweatshirts. Just when I think Spring is on its way, it gets freezing cold and snowy again.

But in unrelated news, we finally found a good place to stay in France this year. London was a lock, but Paris was kinda iffy. I've been doing some research on odd stuff to do there, and there are all kinds of crazy stories about scams and swindlers. I sort of want to run across them, but if it involves them snatching my camera, I'd rather not. It can't be worse than broad day car jackings in Brazil (circa 2001). I just need to make sure I set aside a wine fund to ship boxes upon boxes back......

And it looks like Target Field is coming along pretty good for the Twins. I drive past it almost every week and it's starting to look like a real stadium. The best part of this whole deal? Kristen's office is in one of those buildings RIGHT by the field. From her window I can look right down into the field. Say hello to a few lunch breaks during day games!

I wish there was more going on in the Twin Cities to talk about, but it's been pretty slow this week. Well, it's off to get a pistachio muffin and some coffee before the snow hits.

Oh the colds

So it was going to happen sooner or later. The winter cold. Yesterday it hit in full effect and looks to keep me down for my birfday. I hate taking medicine, so I resort to liquids and age-old remedies. So needless to say, I'll be off here for a while. Back to bed with a sore head and runny nose....

Same time next year

Every year around this time, I have to go through and do the taxes. It's like changing the oil on your car-you know you have to do it, and it will probably get messy. I'm not sure why there is a mouse in this picture by the way. The only good thing about doing taxes is getting money back. Sure, we already paid it, and you know you got hosed to begin with, but you have to pretend to be oblivious to that, and be in joy at the fact that the government is giving me money back.

**Breaking news**
Brett Favre retired--again. I suppose it was for the best this year. It's too bad he couldn't stick with it last year and gone out as a Packer. I've gotten about 15 texts in the past 10 minutes about this......Jordan and the Wizards, Montana and the Chiefs. Nobody will really remember the guy as a Jet anyway.

On to other notes. I'm going to start doing the video blogs every once in a while. For some reason, people have been egging me on to do them again.....

Thoughts from an 11th grader part one

When I was in 11th grade, we had a school activity where we were supposed to present "something we were good at". Now I really tried to ponder this (due to my insationable desire to over-analyze things). I racked and racked my brain for hours on this. And I coulnd't think of anything. As I sat there and listen to class mates talk about how they could shave, play basketball, do math and so on, I was getting worried that I was going to receive an F on this project. As I walked in front of my class with my "me > you" shirt (which I still think is clever but most people thought otherwise, I was still at a loss of what to say.

The teacher looks at me and asks "So Jon, what is it that you're good at"? I gave him a serious look and replied "After much consideration, I've come to the conclusion that I'm good at everything". Mr. Kennedy gave me a "here-we-go-again" sigh and asked me to elaborate. I explained that while I may not be an expert at photo taking, I was good at it. While I may not be drafted into the NFL out of high school, I was in fact, good at the sport. And while I may not be qualified to write a book about picking up ladies, I was good at it (I backed the last statement up with my ability to wow out of town girls at the Mall of America). And I probably cannot make you a quilt, I was good at cross-stitching (an elective activity I learned at Field School in the 6th grade along with Dan and Ryan--we figured it was an easy A). So I went on about a few other things I was decently good at, and wrapped up my presentation. The teacher sat there tapping his pencil against his lip for a few moments before replying "Mr. B, you're quite sure of yourself aren't you"? I thought about it and said I was. He then badgered me about how nobody could possibly be good at everything.

So to prove my grade-worthy ability, I opened a challenge. Everyone in the class could pick a task, I would try my hand at it, and if I failed at the task, we could assume that I was not good at everything. If however I did not fail (only marginally succeeded), I would receive an A. This actually ate up almost a full weeks of English class. So to break it down, here were tasks I was good at:
Breakdancing
Beatboxing
Jump rope
Quadratic Equations
Jenga
Guess Who
Writing limericks and haiku's

But, there were in fact things I was not good at......
The Oboe
Dunking a basketball (though 5'5 at the time, it was no wonder)
Making things out of clay on a wheel

So the moral of this trifle story is that I have too much time on my hands......

One thing I wish I would have done in my life, was to win that SoapBox Derby race. You know the type: The big day is Saturday, if you want Suzie to like you--you'd better win, Banks McGee (the neighborhood bully) is also building a soapbox with oil spurts out of the back-spikes from the tires and weights in the front to go faster. **Sidenote** I think I will either make a short story about this odd past time, or make a funny movie this summer**

Another plan for this Winter, is to take a retreat. There are these one-room cabins in the middle of the North Woods. No electronics, no phones, no modern things at all. You heat them with a wood stove, eat basic foods, and basically spend 48 hours alone to reflect. For some reason it sounds really appealing to me. Nothing but silence, snow and the crackle of a fire stove. Maybe I'll finish one of these books....

And on a final note, why do we have SO MANY useless talents? When we were hunters and gatherers, we needed talents to survive. But as we've evolved, we've acquired talents and skills that mean absolutely nothing. How is juggling going to help me defend a lion in the wild?? Maybe I can juggle some yarn and he would be memorised, but more than likely, he'll just eat me.
Now some talents help us in day to day activities (like the talent of talking and persuasive writing). But most talents are pointless. Another example of pointless talents would be imitations. Sure they make for a fun Friday night after a few drinks, and you convince a Holiday Inn clerk that you are Tony Danza, but it's pretty worthless. But weaving a basket out of birch bark might not be the smoothest party trick.
**New goal--find some kind of natural talent that would come in handy one day**

Actually, this is the final note: The other day I'm going to sleep, and on TV is Ski Patrol. No lie. At 2am it was on. I had to watch it out of respect for a bad movie. And it really is a bad movie. I can't believe we never watched this on Bad Movie Night. I'm busy searching Amazon for it on DVD now.

I'm not really sure why I liked the photo of the kid who is drinking out of the bucket instead of the hose, but I sorta struck me as something I would have done.

Daytime TV

So now that school is over, I've been spending my days in different ways. One of those ways is skipping through daytime TV. Now, I have to imagine that the broadcasting is directed towards a certain type of demographic. Either stay-at-home-moms, unemployed persons, or people with nothing better to do on freezing cold days.

My conclusion is that 90% of it is for women. Now I'm not being sexist or anything, but when most of the shows are either cooking shows, or segments on how to loose weight in your thighs, I can determine that the 25 year old male is not who they're going after.

After watching daytime TV a few times now, I have to wonder: Are women really that unhappy, or are we making them unhappy? Case 1: Most television ads directed towards guys are about beer, girls, music and cars. Most television ads directed towards women are pretty much about how they're butts are too big, they eat too many calories, eyelashes aren't full enough, they can't be healthy without lean-cuisines, you can't cook properly--so here is a new oven mitt to help you or the always popular: trade in that gold ad.
Now I've noticed that most of the commercials directed towards women in the day are pretty much saying that that you're not perfect. And the only way for you to be perfect, is changing everything about you. Now most commercials directed towards guys go as follows: You're already pretty cool bro, but this product will make you cooler (and get you TONS of action).

**Sidenote** I actually had a friend who would use AXE body spray because he literally felt that by wearing it, he would attract women. I continually tried to tell him that the stuff smelled like a bad chemistry experiment, but he wouldn't believe me because he bought into those commercials. And he would never believe my argument that cologne/body sprays are meant to be done in small doses--more does not mean better. Case and point: If you can smell a perfume from across the room, it does not attract you like a magnet. But being close enough to smell a hint of perfume is...well....very attractive.

It's not like I'm re-inventing the wheel here. I'm sure people have found this same example and written lots of stuff on it. I just never noticed it until I was sucked into the world of daytime TV.

Working later in the day has certainly opened my eyes to a culture of people who I never knew anything about. I think the next group will be those who are retired. When I go to the gym at 9am, there are floods of moms and elderly people there. The old folks stay to themselves, but after their workout sessions, I stay away from the parking lot....If your're 90 years old, you probably shouldn't be on the roads.

So there are 2 new cool things going down lately:

1. I'm finally going to upgrade my camera to one that allows for better photos.
2. London and Paris in April. That's right folks, Kris and I will be hanging with some London blokes and French frogs in a few months. Hense the reason for upgrading the camera...

It's off to watch the Price is Right and Rachael Ray.

Hey there

For some reason or another, I've re-gotten into records. I spent most of the day today playing all sorts of vinyl. I guess it goes along with 2009s theme of being more traditional. The way I see it, if it was good enough for your grandpa, it's still good enough. I guess that's why I'm flirting with 80 year old women....but on to another topic.

So as males, have we given up on being gentleman? Being a teacher I certainly see the youth going away from it, but people in their 20's-40's, is what really surprises me. I'm not saying that we all walk around with the utmost manners, but there are certain things that have become a past time rather than common practice. Take for example a dinner gathering. How many people wait until everyone is seated until they start to eat? Not many. Or, if you're being introduced to someone, standing up to greet them? And what about opening doors for people? We honestly can't be in that big of a hurry to not allow someone to go before us. And how often do we take our hats off inside? My grandma used to smack the back of my head if I came into her house with my hat on-up until I was 24! She also used to make me stand up every time a female came, or left, a room. She told me it was rude to just sit there while a lady was coming or going--but when I do this now, people look at me funny. And it almost seems odd if you take out a chair for a woman. Where have our customs gone?? I don't really have an answer for this, but it does seem something that should be looked into. (*brain, file this away for later. Also, find that missing sock*). Maybe I'm the oldest 20-something out there, but hopefully not the only one that at least tries to practice correctness. I'm going back to listen to these old Dean Martin records now.

But take a look at these guys here. Nothing says cool like a fishbowl of pretzels and scotch. The 60's were much smoother than the first part of this century....

Why oh why

Why on earth do I live here? That is the question I wrestle with on mornings like this. The temperature outside is -18 actual. That means it's about -35 with the windchill.

One of my favorite things to do while drinking coffee, is to watch the morning newscast and watch the traffic reports. There were 2 different sections of highway closed this morning due to black ice, crashes and rollovers. A normal commute of 20 minutes was a little over an hour today. I still don't understand how people here can't drive in the winter. It only happens EVERY year, yet 97% of the people forget how to handle snow and ice.....If you're driving and notice the road looks wet (and it's below 0), chances are it's ice! So slow down.

-I'm out.