Greatness comes at 421/422

For those of us who live in Minnesota, we all know about the Packers. Of all the teams within the NFL, the Pack are the Vikings arch-nemesis. They are the Joker to Batman, Lex Luther to Superman, Gargamel to the Smurfs, Zach Morris and AC Slater. But of all the Packers players, Brett Favre is the face and number of Green Bay. There is no question that he is the most legendary quarterback (and probably player) in the NFL right now. Some were lucky enough to be at the Metradome today (cough-cough), and witness the record held by Dan Marino broken. That record was the most touchdowns ever thrown by a quarterback. I gotta give it up to the fans in Minnesota. When that touchdown was thrown, EVERYONE stood up and gave an ovation. An applaud that was long overdue. To see someone of that caliber playing at a level that most thought was long gone, is something to tell your grand kids about. When its all said and done, I don't think Brett will care about the records, but he will care about the game. For those of us who have seen the guy play, you know that there is probably no player that plays with the emotion he does. It truly is something to be amazed at. Feel what you will about the Packers, Brett Favre is a legend that can still go out there and sling it better than most.
A question I've been pondering is why are some teams fans so insanely devoted? Look at the Packers, they could lose every game of the year, and Lambeau would still be sold out. Same with the the Cubs. Why can't we be like that in Minnesota? Granted, I'm calling the kettle black (being a Cubs fan myself), but why don't people in Minnesota rally around their teams like other states? Oddly enough, I've seen way more Cubbies games than Twins. And I've taped every Packers game since 1994, and bought every Sports Illustrated, Time and People magazine with a Packer on the cover.I own more Packers memorabilia than anyone I know, and I actually devoted an entire room in my house to the team. Yeah, I'm sorta lame that way. I've cheered my teams through playoffs, Superbowl's, and horrible losing seasons, but they're still my teams. I've always been a hard Northstars fan, but haven't quite fallen in love with the Wild....but maybe one day.
I just wanted to say big up to the Packers. Its nice win a few games every once in a while. And like I said a few weeks ago--watch out for Adrian Peterson aka the rookie of the year. Lets just hope the green and gold can stay on this pace for the rest of the year. So congrats Brett. 422!

The fast life

So it's been a while since I've done a good post. Actually, it's still going to be a while until I put something worth while on here. I've been busy! So I figured that I'd give you some excuses why I haven't put anything up....

1. Since the Vikings realized that they are one or the worst teams in football, they called me up and asked to play quarterback. I declined (hey, even mr. uppertank has standards).
2. I've been rocking out nonstop to that Wilson Phillips song "Hold on". And REALLY rocking out when the chorus breaks down. Don't you know if you change, things will go your way just hooooold ooooon foooooooor ooooooone moooooooore daaaaaaaaay.
3. I fell down a well
4. I've been following the 50 vs. Kanye battle
5. I'm working on becoming a music critic for Rolling Stone
6. I'm in a coma
7. I lost my fingers in a horrible thumb-wrestling accident.
8. I've joined the new Saved by the Bell cast.
9. I drove to Hollywood to prevent them from making a Warriors remake
10. I'm way too busy with school......

Actually, that last one is pretty much true. It takes up WAY too much time, but hey a $100,000 piece of paper that says "I know a bunch of stuff" might be worth while sometime......

I heard a good quote the other day by Phont-igga from Little Brother "Whats the difference between a rapper and an emcee? Well, when there's no more money in this hiphop biz, the emcees are going to be the only ones spittin''.

On a smaller note, the Bears FINALLY benched Rex-mex Grossman. Maybe they'll win some games now.

As you can probably tell, neither of these pictures have anything to do with the post. I just thought they were funny (hitting women is NOT funny by the way), but the sign is.

Speaking of women, a sportswriter from Oklahoma got snapped on by the coach of Oklahoma state. I say good. Most sportswriters are out of shape know-it-alls that can't play sports to save their lives, yet rip apart a 19 year old kid because he had a bad game. Not to be sexist, but women should not be football writers or stand on the sideline and give their "insights". If you can't play the sport, you shouldn't report on it because you have NO CLUE what really goes on. I say put this lady on the field for 5 minutes and see if she can take a hit......Sorry for the rant.

Peace out yall.

JB!

The best movies you've never seen.

Stickin with the script, I dug up this old classic.--Class Act, starring Kid n Play. This was a cinematic masterpiece. I could put it up there with Casablanca, Citizen Cane, TMNT: Secret of the Ooze and Crossroads (with Ralph Maccio). First of all, whatever happened to these guys?? Their future was so bright and beautiful (they were like the first Damon/Affleck team). But it seems if after 1994, they disappeared...Maybe that's something to explore in the future. But the movie goes like this::

Genius high school student Duncan Pinderhughes (Chris "Kid" Reid) is getting ready for graduation, but is somewhat disheartened to find out that, despite his perfect SAT and 4.0 GPA, Harvard will not admit him unless he passes Phys Ed. Ex-convict Michael "Blade" Brown (Christopher "Play" Martin) is released from jail, and told by his parole officer that the condition of his release is satisfactory graduation from high school. A mishap results in their pictures being swapped on their permanent records. In effect, Blade is surprised to find out that he is being placed in "gifted/brainy" classes, while Duncan is shocked to be placed in minimal classes with substandard conditions and miscreants for classmates.
Blade realizes this, and sees Duncan as his ticket permanently out of jail, since Duncan could pass his classes with ease. He transforms Duncan into a version of himself with dreadlocks, and does his best to teach Duncan how to act and talk like a mac daddy gangsta. Having no grasp of inner city culture, Duncan's parents begin to worry about their son's new "friend"; his father especially, beginning to suspect Duncan is gay
Blade manages to smooth-talk his way through his advanced classes, even successfully executing a dissertation on sexual intercourse (one of his favorite subjects). Duncan ends up running into a high school thug named Wedge, and gets in trouble, but also ends up discovering an uncanny ability to kick field goals, and joins the school's football team. Both Blade and Duncan end up with girlfriends that the other would have, with Blade smooth-talking the intelligent but excitement-seeking Ellen(played by Karyn Parsons aka Hilary Banks from the Fresh Prince), and Duncan being pursued by the wild and thugged out Damita(played by Alysia Rogers.)
Blade ends up getting in trouble with a drug lord that he worked with before his incarceration, and the movie climaxes in a chase involving Blade, Duncan, their girlfriends and one of Blade's buddies. When the girlfriends realize that their men are swapped, both end up dumped. Still, Duncan manages to knock out Wedge, while Blade handles the drug lord, but all end up in jail.
After the mixup is fixed up, Blade, Duncan and company are all set free. In an anti-climax, Duncan and Blade both enter a Brain Bowl in an effort to get Blade back with Ellen. They succeed when Blade answers a tiebreaker question to win the competition, recalling a choice tidbit Ellen once told him. Afterward, both couples end up together. In a final scene, Duncan's dad finds out the hard way that Duncan is definitely not gay by catching him and Damita having sex in Duncan's bedroom.
Walking in each other's shoes dramatically changed the lives of both Duncan and Blade. In the epilogue, the audience learns that Blade graduated from high school and attended college (wearing preppy attire), while Duncan attended Stanford on a football scholarship.
Why can't these guys make another record/movie like House Party 4?? They were awesome hip hop heads who should have teamed up with the Fatboys and made a movie...I guess I'll just keep dreaming.

Besides school, not much has been going on. I had an adventure last weekend that caused me to search for a Redbull for nearly 3 hours....
Someone who's opinion I value told me this, and it made sense. "When you blog, you talk about good stuff Jon. Most people talk about crap no one cares about. They abuse the point of the blog. Just like GURU said "Just because I want to it don't mean I will". Do you think Edison was calling people up right after he invented the telephone, saying "Yo bro, I got so wasted last night and ate a ton of Ramen, then this chick told me a joke"? Hell no. Use it for a purpose, not for some piddly junk that doesn't matter. If-you-had-to-be-there, don't talk about it. Because everyone who wasn't there, is not going to read your crap. Has my cousin seen That Cube Movie? No, but she died laughing at your post. People need to realize that NO ONE cares about your myspace feelings and the lame stories you talk about. Just keep doing what you do, and people will read your nutty tirades".
I felt good after hearing that from him...

For some reason this comic reminds me of me......

So with all of that said, I'm working on a semi-short story for here involving the future, a duck, Bruce Springstien, the 1996 Seattle Supersonics and the Dahl. Its hopefully going to be a good one.

So happy Wednesday people. (Humpday is lame, don't call the sacred Wednesday that).

Whata' prick

The art of being a complete ass comes with much hard work. Some people think you're born with the gift, but it takes much training grasshopper. Its harder than being a Navy SEAL, but easier than your girlfriend....**wait for it.....wait for it....check the "oh snap flowchart:...yes it is. OH SNAP!!! Oh no he didn't! Oh yes I did.** Anyway, there are many pricks in our society. Most of them we love, some we hate, but I just wanted to take a moment and reflect on these great/horrible individuals. Because when you're not the target of the anger, its quite funny...

1. Wile Coyote. C'mone. What did that roadrunner ever do to you? Slept with your girl? Ok, maybe that gives you a little reason to be mad, but years upon years of trying to kill the poor runner?? And honestly, what did you plan to do once you caught him? Cook him? No way, that meat would be horrid. How about hiring a contract killer that doesn't use rockets or anvils, that might work. How about getting a real job, like border patrol. Down in the desert, you're close to the border, so secure it with you wacky security schemes. I say let it go and kill a cartoon that we hate--Hanna Montana (I know she's a real person).


2. Michael Jordan. I know what you're saying. "Whoa, the greatest basketball player EVER?? Why would you put him him on this list"? Because. He retired and came back.....twice. Talk about a dick move. I cried each time. Tugging at ol' Johnnys heart strings like that has a tole. That is why I consider: Christian Laettner, Shawn Kemp, Mugsy Bouges, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson and Air Bud to be better players than MJ. Why not just stay with the Bulls?? And to try your hand at baseball?? You gotta be kidding me! Now, I'm going to put on my Hanes boxers and my Air Jordans and play some ball...



3. Jamarcus Russell. This guy is why people hate athletes. He basically said "I'm better than what you're going to pay me, so I'm not going to play until you raise my salary". And boom, he got a $30 million deal from the Raiders. Has he played one day in the NFL?? nope. What on earth makes you think you're worth that much?? I can understand an Elway, Montana, Rice, LT (the REAL LT, not Tomlinson), Bo Jackson or anyone of that caliber to say that, but a douche that has done NOTHING, does not deserve that kind of pay day. And to make the team go and sign Daunte Culpepper?? Oh, you are a king of pricks Mr. Russell.




4. Pepe le Peu. I think he falls in the "rapist" category instead of this, but I thought he fit the mold of a prick too. All he does is run around and try to mack on that fine cat who accidentally got a white stripe down her back....how about e-harmony next time there??





5. Bill Romanowski. Just look at this guy, he looks like he looks like he'd kick your ass just for looking at hm sideways. Well, anyway, he got his rocks off from purposely hurting other NFL players. And oddly enough, he brags about it to this day. He also punched a fellow player in the eye, ending his ability to play in the NFL. Talk about ass clowns, this guy takes the cake. I don't think anyone has been in more fights in the league than him...

6. The Care Bears. Oh, you think you're sooooo cool hanging up on your cloud, in your special club that no one can join? Who cares, I'll just hang out down here with my pound puppies and garbage pail kids. I hope the forecast calls for a clear, sunny day, so I don't have to see you colorful freaks anymore. You ruined my childhood. And I can never get that back, no matter how many pills promise "CareBear adventures guaranteed"....



7. The 2007 Minnesota Twins. How many seasons can we get right on the brink of the playoffs and then lose? It seems every year this happens. These guys are pricks. Toying with my hopes and emotions (*flashback of Big Perm in Friday saying "You're toying with my emotions Smokey!!!"*). Look at this photo closely. Notice #20-Lew Ford looking like he wants so badly to jump in the crowd, and the rest of the team won't let him-- having fun without him...poor Lew. I'd bet that Torii Hunter will be gone at the end of the year, and who can blame him?? Also, I'd almost bet that Santana will also be leaving. Mauer will get hurt, and Morneau will start to flop and still never smile. That leaves us with Neshek, Lew Ford and Baker-the- homerun -maker to bring home the title...so I guess we shouldn't hold our breath.

In other news, the Vikings won. There's no surprise there. They beat one of the worst teams in the NFL. But despite how weak the Vikings are, Adrian Peterson should be the rookie of the year (if he stays healthy). and I'm making my prediction for them to end up at 8-8, and maybe having a wildcard chance at the end. We'll see how they fair against the Lions. I've always been a Viking -hater since the Hershel Walker trade, and until they get a real quarterback and an outside stadium, I don't see that changing. And the Packers beat one of the better teams in the NFL in the Eagles. Way to go 4. Favre now ties Elway with the most career wins. And I'm looking for him to become #1 in all time touchdowns, yards, attempts and interceptions this season. No one can say they hold most TD's and int's....thats pretty hardcore. Peace out yall, and happy Tuesday.

-the original Jon B

Greatest movies of all time: Part 2

Meatballs 4. What did you think, I was going to put Titanic, Forrest Gump, or Gone with the Wind?? Hell no, those movies sucked. Honestly, I could watch this movie over and over. Ritchie would actually rent this movie like twice a month. As you can see from the cover, its all about summer fun, ladies, a fat guy with a camera and Corey Feldman. "There's only thing wilder, crazier and sexier than last summer--THIS summer". Wow. How could you not rent this flick?!?!?

What about the other installments of Meatballs? I dunno, I do know that Bill Murray was in the first one, and the other 2 were never really made. I think they started making them and they turned into the Jason flicks.

The plot goes like this: Ricky (Feldman) is the hottest water-ski instructor around and he has just be rehired by his former employer/camp to whip up attendance. But the camp is in serious financial trouble and the owner of a rival, more popular, camp wants to buy them out. Therefore they will have to engage in a mean, winner-takes-all ski competition that will settle the row once and for all. Hilarity ensues. I can't remember most of the details, but I do know that it is one of the greatest 80's flicks (even though it came out in 92) ever created. All the wonderful stereotypes are there. Can Feldman bring this gang of dweebs up to par against the hot new camp across the lake?? Watch to find out! The reason I don't remember most of the movie is because I laughed the whole way through. This movie is the definition of craptastic.

I also found this sign in a store in St. Paul. You know you're in Minnesota when......

These Cyanide comics are dope. They make me laugh because they remind me of myself (not this one though).













Have you ever served someone, but weren't really sure if you did it or not? This flowchart will help you out. I carry a card-sized version in my wallet for the important occasions.

Well, I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. If you live in/by/around 35W, your weekend probably sucked. Thanks MnDot. I will get my revenge when I get that flux capacitor working....